Chapter Forty-Five: Coprophagia

Yu Qin nodded. “He doesn’t just like licking the sofa. He also likes licking the trash bags and our clothes.”

Lin Xiaoru immediately added, “One time, my dad fell asleep on the sofa, and Big Ears just kept licking his feet until his feet were covered in dog slobber.”

Zhang Congwen nodded, saying nothing more.

Coming in the evening to help train someone else’s dog was hardly ideal. Dog training often involved a fair amount of commotion, and doing it at night could easily disturb the neighbors. Moreover, compared to daytime, dogs were usually less active in the evening, so some behavioral issues might not even manifest.

Zhang Congwen asked a bit more about the French bulldog’s daily behavior, and learned that not only did the dog like licking things and biting at people’s heels, but it also failed to understand commands from its owners and would snatch food from their hands—sometimes almost biting them in the process.

While they were chatting, Lin Xiaoru’s father, Lin Yi, returned home and shared another issue with the dog.

“Sometimes Big Ears eats his own feces. Is there any way to stop that?”

No sooner had Lin Yi spoken than Lin Xiaoru, who had been petting the bulldog’s head, froze, yanking her hand away immediately.

“I’ve never seen Big Ears eat poop!” Lin Xiaoru looked at the dog in disbelief. Thinking back to when she’d just touched its mouth by accident, she quickly got up and hurried to the bathroom to wash her hands.

“You’re at school most of the time,” Yu Qin explained, “and I only saw it happen once, a long time ago, so I didn’t think much of it.”

Zhang Congwen asked, “Does it happen at home, or when you’re out walking him?”

Lin Yi thought for a moment. “When we first brought Big Ears home, it happened a few times inside. But after we trained him to go outside, it never happened indoors again. Still, he’ll sometimes eat feces when we’re out.”

As the saying goes, a dog can’t change its habit of eating excrement. But that’s not entirely accurate, because coprophagia isn’t a normal canine behavior. This is a condition referred to as coprophagy.

When a dog starts eating feces, it’s a complex behavioral issue with many possible causes. Sometimes, it’s due to a nutritional deficiency, prompting the dog to seek out non-food items. Other times, it’s imitation—curiosity sparked by seeing another dog eat feces. It can also be triggered by hunger or by internal parasites.

Another common reason is seen in stray or free-roaming dogs: they eat their own feces to mask their scent, so as not to attract predators in the wild.

Of course, there are many other causes for coprophagy in dogs, and Zhang Congwen couldn’t immediately pinpoint which applied here.

However, Zhang Congwen was certain that Big Ears’ coprophagy wasn’t due to nutritional deficiency or lack of food. The dog’s physique and shiny coat were proof enough. He also ruled out parasites, as the family was responsible and regularly gave the dog internal and external deworming treatments—making an infestation unlikely.

When they left Lin Xiaoru’s house, Xie Caizhe was a little reluctant to go.

Earlier, Yu Qin had tried to persuade Zhang Congwen and Xie Caizhe to stay for dinner. Xie Caizhe was tempted to shamelessly accept, but Zhang Congwen flatly refused. So after leaving, Xie Caizhe felt a little disgruntled. He was especially disappointed when Zhang Congwen scheduled the next training session for the following day during daylight hours—meaning he had no legitimate excuse to visit Lin Xiaoru’s home himself.

Zhang Congwen merely chuckled at Xie Caizhe’s complaints, patted him on the shoulder, and said, “Once I’ve trained the dog, I’ll let you check up on Big Ears in my name.”

Xie Caizhe grumbled, “Why would I want to check on the dog?”

Zhang Congwen replied, “Unless you prefer having me as a third wheel by your side?”

Xie Caizhe instantly caught on. “Thanks, Brother Zhang.”

Having understood Zhang Congwen’s meaning, Xie Caizhe was overjoyed, as if he wanted to empty all his pocket money to thank him.

Naturally, Zhang Congwen would never stoop so low as to take a child’s pocket money; he merely sighed inwardly at how easy it was to fool kids.

After seeing Xie Caizhe safely home, Zhang Congwen returned to his rented apartment. By then, it was nearly ten o’clock at night.

Song Jiawei had already returned. When Zhang Congwen came in, he immediately asked, “What took you so long? Out on a date with your little girlfriend?”

Zhang Congwen was bewildered and asked reflexively, “What little girlfriend?”

Song Jiawei sneered, “Oh, keep pretending. Who else but Zhu Qingyan would be your girlfriend? Don’t tell me you’ve found someone else and abandoned her.”

Zhang Congwen was baffled. “What nonsense are you talking about?”

Song Jiawei’s look of disdain deepened, thinking Zhang Congwen was a master of pretense. But he didn’t press the issue, instead asking in a conspiratorial tone, “So, how far have things gotten with Zhu Qingyan? Don’t tell me you came home this late and didn’t even hold hands. If it were me, I’d stay out for another two hours at least, and then—well, you get the idea…”

Only then did Zhang Congwen realize Song Jiawei assumed he’d been out late on a date with Zhu Qingyan. Seeing Song Jiawei grinning lewdly, Zhang Congwen thought he had best clarify.

“Fatso, I advise you to behave yourself and drop those creepy ideas. Qingyan and I are just classmates, nothing more. Besides, I was out tonight on proper business.”

Song Jiawei waggled his eyebrows. “Yeah, proper business. Your lifelong happiness is proper business, isn’t it?”

Zhang Congwen felt it was impossible to reason with Song Jiawei. He turned to see two packages on the table. “Are those yours?”

Song Jiawei shrugged. “They’re yours.”

Zhang Congwen was surprised. “Mine? I haven’t ordered anything lately.”

Song Jiawei said slyly, “You haven’t, but that doesn’t mean someone else hasn’t. I opened them for you—they’re two sets of brand-name clothes. With how cheap you are, you’d never buy something this nice. Obviously, Zhu Qingyan got them for you.”

“Huh?”

Zhang Congwen immediately messaged Zhu Qingyan and received confirmation. Only then did he remember that Zhu Qingyan had mentioned buying him clothes, but he hadn’t taken her seriously at the time. He hadn’t expected her to actually go through with it.

At this, Song Jiawei added with morbid delight, “No one buys clothes for someone unless it’s something serious.”

For a moment, Zhang Congwen didn’t know how to respond.