Chapter Thirty-Nine: Long Anticipated

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After leaving behind that house which had long since crumbled into the dust of time, Ji Ning seemed to have let go of many things. Qin Mo walked behind him, quietly observing the boy who moved calmly ahead.

“What should we eat tonight?” Ji Ning’s casual tone broke through Qin Mo’s reverie. She blinked, recalling how she’d heard that boys, unlike girls who grow up gradually, often become mature all at once at some pivotal moment. She’d thought this fellow might have grown up a little, but listening to that nonchalant voice, it seemed he was just the same as ever.

“Anything is fine.” Before coming, Qin Mo had already researched the local customs, but it seemed this city didn’t boast any particularly famous delicacies.

“‘Anything’ is such an annoying answer, especially for people like us.” Ji Ning stopped walking, hopped behind Qin Mo, and laid a hand on her shoulder, gently pushing her forward.

Qin Mo’s cheeks flushed as she was nudged along. She knew exactly what “people like us” meant. Even though she’d tried to make herself accept it, just hearing it made her shy all over again. Perhaps this was the unique sentiment of a girl experiencing her first love—a feeling that couldn’t be erased. She made a silent vow: from now on, she would never tell him “anything is fine” again.

“Then you decide. I’ve never been here before; this is your hometown—how could I possibly know it better than you?” Qin Mo grabbed the hand Ji Ning had placed on her shoulder, turned around to face him, and saw him smiling at her. She knew her cheeks were burning and felt a little embarrassed. After a moment’s thought, she slipped behind Ji Ning and pushed him forward with one hand. “Don’t look at me. You get to decide what we eat tonight, that’s final.”

“Does a boyfriend on probation not even have the right to admire his beautiful girlfriend?” Ji Ning genuinely enjoyed teasing this often-shy girl; it was a particular kind of mischievous delight.

“Let’s just go eat, let’s go eat!” Qin Mo decided to change the subject—discussions like this always left the girl at a disadvantage.

Ji Ning didn’t take Qin Mo to any fancy restaurant. For one thing, he missed the flavors of his hometown, and for another, there simply weren’t any such places in this small city.

Watching Qin Mo take small bites of beef chow mein, Ji Ning—now wearing a mask—smiled faintly. “This noodle shop fueled my entire high school life.”

“Mmm, it’s quite good.” Qin Mo didn’t mind that her boyfriend’s first meal with her in his hometown was just street-side fried noodles. She’d already figured out what kind of place this was the moment Ji Ning put on his mask long before they even neared the neighborhood.

“Do you want to go in and take a look?” After finishing the last bite of beef chow mein, Qin Mo suddenly asked.

Ji Ning shook his head silently, but in truth, Qin Mo already knew what his answer would be before she even asked.

“Then I’ll go have a look.” Qin Mo wiped her mouth with a napkin. Before Ji Ning could object, she continued, “You’re not going in because you might be spotted by the Foundation, but what does it matter if I go?”

The elevator descended slowly, the floor number edging closer to “1.” Qin Mo suddenly felt nervous. She’d impulsively decided to visit Ji Ning’s family on his behalf, but under what identity should she introduce herself? Before she could figure it out, the elevator doors slid open.

Moments later, Ji Ning’s mother opened the door, looking a little puzzled at the smiling girl before her. “Yes? Can I help you?”

“Hello, I just bought an apartment on the thirteenth floor yesterday. The renovations there are awful, so I’ve been worrying about how to redo everything. I heard you have a unique design here and wanted to have a look. I also brought a small gift.” Qin Mo seemed especially well-mannered; no one could dislike such a polite and pretty neighbor.

Sitting on the sofa, Qin Mo watched Ji Ning’s mother’s polite smile. After weaving a plausible story about looking younger than her age, becoming financially independent through the stock market, and buying the apartment, she casually asked, “Do you have two sons? I noticed two bedrooms that look like children’s rooms.”

“Only one—he’s in first grade. I wish I had two sons, but I was already an older mother when I had Qian’er.” Ji Ning’s mother chuckled, showing none of the sorrow Qin Mo had anticipated.

“Besides my parents, I have a younger brother named Ji Qian—he should be in first grade now.” Qin Mo suddenly remembered the barely noticeable sadness on that boy’s face when he’d said those words.

Qin Mo was no longer the naïve girl she once was. She realized instantly that not only Ji Ning’s mother but everyone connected to him had likely had their memories artificially erased. That boy, like herself, had been abandoned by the past—except he didn’t know it, and, barring some miracle, he never would. Qin Mo had already prepared a kind lie.

After some inconsequential conversation, Qin Mo apologized for the intrusion and prepared to leave. Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, making her tense up.

But when the door opened, it was only a round-faced little boy. Qin Mo and the boy locked eyes.

“Who are you?”

“Are you Ji Qian?”

“Yes, I’m Ji Qian. I’m six years old.”

The boy’s face was full of familiar innocence. Qin Mo smiled and patted his head. “I’m your neighbor, here to visit your family—I even brought you a gift.” Knowing Ji Ning had a younger brother, she’d bought some snacks that little kids love.

“Thank you, sister—no, thank you, sister-in-law!” When Ji Qian saw the gift bag of snacks by the sofa, he beamed with delight.

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But as soon as those words left his mouth, both Qin Mo and Ji Ning’s mother were taken aback.

“Oh, this child—what nonsense! I’m so sorry, Miss Qin. He probably watches too many cartoons and keeps thinking he has an older brother who went far away.”

Hearing his mother say this, Ji Qian immediately grew upset. “My brother just went far away to college. He’ll come back during the holidays.”

“Why did you call me sister-in-law?” Qin Mo knelt down, looking earnestly at the small boy.

“My brother told me before: if a strange and pretty big sister ever comes to visit, I should call her sister-in-law. I ate his chips, so I have to keep my word.” Ji Qian looked at Qin Mo with utter seriousness.

“This child is always saying such odd things. Where did you get this older brother from? I told you to watch fewer cartoons—every day after school, you do your homework and then start watching TV until you’re completely muddled. No more cartoons in the evening from now on!” his mother scolded, embarrassed. She knew her son was convinced he had an older brother, but she’d always chalked it up to childish fancy. This time, however, he’d said it in front of a guest, which made her decide to discipline him properly once this neighbor left.

As Qin Mo left, she heard the door close behind her, and faintly, the sound of crying.

“I’m not wrong, I do have a brother.”

“He’s not from a cartoon.”

“My brother’s name is Ji Ning.”

“You’ve all forgotten, but I’ll never forget.”

“I really do have a brother.”

Qin Mo wanted to knock on the door and tell them everything, but in the end, she pressed the elevator button and left to the sound of those quiet sobs.

I’m sorry, Ji Qian. You’re right. But sometimes, in the adult world, falsehoods are easier to bear than the truth.

“Are they doing well?” Ji Ning couldn’t help but ask.

Qin Mo didn’t turn around, still looking ahead. “The Foundation altered their memories. They think you went far away to study. Once you graduate from Lu Academy, maybe you’ll be able to visit them again.”

“Qin Mo.” Ji Ning’s voice was so calm it didn’t sound like him at all.

“Hmm?” Qin Mo’s reply was hesitant.

“I’d rather face a harsh truth than a well-meaning lie.”

“The Foundation erased every memory of you from their minds.” Qin Mo didn’t turn. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Ji Ning’s voice was hoarse.

Qin Mo hated the SCP Foundation more than ever—those self-righteous people, cold and ruthless, stripping and destroying what was most precious to others. If that was justice, who could ever love justice?

She turned and hugged Ji Ning tightly. She felt the faint tremble in his body. “It’s alright. You still have me. The day you pulled me out of that endless abyss and asked if I would come with you—you know my answer. I promised to stay by your side, and that’s what I’ll do.”

“I’m so scared.” For the first time, Ji Ning revealed his vulnerability. Until now, not even in the face of death had he shown such feelings. He’d thought he’d accepted the world’s indifference, and yet…

“I know.” Qin Mo’s voice was soft. She thought, back then, what she’d wanted most was just a hug like this. So she held him even tighter, the tenderness in her eyes never once fading.

Ji Ning breathed in the scent that rose from her hair warmed by her skin. The remaining sunlight shone through her tresses, falling on her pale, delicate fingers. That hand gently caressed his cheek, sweeping away all the gloom and emptiness in his heart. He wasn’t a fool—he’d never expected impossible things. He knew the Foundation would find a way to deal with his disappearance, but he hadn’t anticipated they would choose such a cruel solution.

He was grateful that, on that day, he had finally stopped running and chosen to take responsibility. He still had someone to lean on, and someone to embrace.

He thought, we’re the same—two people in the dark, lucky enough to be able to hold each other and walk forward together. The sadness in his heart faded a little at the thought, and knowing that those familiar with him had only forgotten him, not suffered because of him, gave him some peace. In a way, the Foundation’s decision brought him a measure of relief. Even if they hadn’t been made to forget, he could never return to the past.

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His hands rested gently on her trembling back. He wanted to caress her, but hesitated, afraid to be too abrupt. Yet in the next instant, that hesitation vanished. Qin Mo rested her chin on his shoulder, and the arms around his waist tightened, as if to say, “I need you, just as you need me.”

The moment that thought emerged, he felt an unfamiliar surge of joy—like a flower with an unexpected color blooming amidst the rubble. He had never before wanted to hold the girl in his arms so tightly, not out of any desire or ulterior motive, but out of a pure, untainted love. He finally acknowledged the love that had sprouted and grown strong in his heart.

It was a long embrace—so long that Qin Mo could hardly suppress the wild fluttering of her heart. She thought of the night she’d first met Ji Ning, of the boy who’d nervously invited her in the park. She thought, so love at first sight really exists in this world; that’s wonderful. That it happened to her and Ji Ning, even better.

Neither wanted to part. Feeling the warmth of the girl in his arms, Ji Ning recalled a wedding he’d once attended—the bashful bride closing her eyes with a smile to receive her groom’s clumsy but heartfelt kiss. Back then, he hadn’t understood why even married couples would show such expressions. Now he did—whenever you draw close to the one you love, the joy is uncontrollable.

As that physical closeness gradually gave way to reason, the same thought occurred to both of them: is this what it feels like to hold the one you love?

“Why aren’t you saying anything?” Qin Mo quietly spoke, her voice both ticklish and shy from his warm breath.

“Because you smell so nice.” Ji Ning hugged the girl in his arms once more. Sensing that she was not as lost as he’d thought, the girl decisively pushed the “big clumsy pig” away—love was one thing, but she would not accept any impropriety.

“Want to see a movie?” Ji Ning suddenly asked.

Qin Mo was baffled. “Why?”

“It’s my first time wandering the streets with someone I like. I really don’t know what to do. I can hardly suppress the urge to hug and kiss you, so I thought we could find something to keep busy. Of course, if you don’t want to, I’ll do my best to restrain my unruly heart.” Ji Ning spoke with such sincerity that, if it weren’t for the mischievous smile on his face, he might have been convincing.

When the movie ended, the sun was just above the horizon—not so high as to be dazzling, nor so low that it felt too late to walk back to the inn.

The two walked side by side. Dusk painted Qin Mo in a gentle glow, making her look like a goddess bringing the light of dawn.

Ji Ning couldn’t help stealing a few glances. Qin Mo smiled, “What are you sneaking looks for? Is there something on my face?” From Ji Ning’s furtive gaze, she once again sensed affirmation of her own beauty, filling her with pride.

Ji Ning shook his head and said casually, “You can hardly blame me—knowing how beautiful you are, even someone with the greatest self-control would find it hard not to look.”

There’s nothing that delights a girl more than an unguarded compliment from her beloved. The words caressed Qin Mo’s heart like a spring breeze, and her beautiful face blossomed with peach-colored joy.

Ji Ning didn’t continue to stare, and so he missed the most breathtaking beauty in the world. But what did it matter? Some things, even if missed, would come around again. That, perhaps, was the privilege of youth.

“Am I really that pretty?”

“Of course.”

“Say I’m pretty again.”

“You’re really pretty.”

“One more time.”

“Qin Mo is truly beautiful.”

A gentle breeze brushed across Qin Mo’s crescent-shaped eyes. Her soft hair floated in the wind as she laughed, tucking it behind her ear. Her eyes, bright as starlight, smiled at Ji Ning again. “One more time.”

“Qin Mo isn’t pretty at all.”

Qin Mo grabbed Ji Ning’s ear, and the two made their way toward the inn, playfully bickering. Their long shadows merged into one, stretching far across the ground, disappearing into the endless horizon.